1
00:00:03,717 --> 00:00:07,965
Oh, Gracie, I think it's so sweet 
that you're writing the President a letter.

2
00:00:07,965 --> 00:00:10,449
I mean, he really needs
 some cheering up.

3
00:00:10,449 --> 00:00:12,841
First, he loses
 the House and the Senate,

4
00:00:12,841 --> 00:00:18,845
then he jogs to McDonald's and
 finds out a McLean has 10 grams of fat.

5
00:00:18,845 --> 00:00:22,884
Ten?  What about 
those Chicken McNuggets?

6
00:00:23,069 --> 00:00:28,563
Niles, so that's how you got
 those McLove handles.

7
00:00:29,627 --> 00:00:34,971
Fran, I don't know what's right.
  What's the right way to address 
the man who runs our entire country?

8
00:00:34,971 --> 00:00:37,376
Dear Newt?

9
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:41,025
Don't be so smart, you.

10
00:00:41,025 --> 00:00:43,901
"B," you're a good writer. 
 Go help your sister.

11
00:00:43,901 --> 00:00:47,278
If it's a nice letter, forget it. 
/ What?  What are you?  A republican?

12
00:00:47,278 --> 00:00:50,713
I've got a trust fund. 
 I'm no boob. / Go.

13
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:54,053
Maxwell, if he wants the damn play, 
then let him have it.

14
00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:56,578
It isn't even finished.
 / Who?

15
00:00:56,578 --> 00:01:01,027
Andrew Lloyd Webber.

16
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:04,431
Look, Cee Cee, I found this play first.
 I want to produce it.

17
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:10,212
Just once I want to be on top. 
/ I want you on top too, Maxwell.

18
00:01:14,594 --> 00:01:16,384
You're just not going to win.

19
00:01:16,384 --> 00:01:20,823
You might as well give up.
Se la vie. / La vie.

20
00:01:21,130 --> 00:01:25,169
Why shouldn't he try for it? 
 His shows are just as good.

21
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:30,319
As good as "Phantom of the Opera"?
 / Uh-huh.

22
00:01:30,453 --> 00:01:34,597
Maxwell, for your own good, give up. 
 It's a futile fight.

23
00:01:34,597 --> 00:01:39,180
For God sakes, 
I know when I'm licked.

24
00:01:42,691 --> 00:01:47,265
Just give me a minute to get
 that image out of my head.

25
00:01:47,929 --> 00:01:51,104
Nope, Nope. 
 Gonna have to live with it.

26
00:01:51,515 --> 00:01:54,071
It is reassuring no know that
 if anything happens to me,

27
00:01:54,071 --> 00:01:57,233
you're here to continue my work.

28
00:01:57,233 --> 00:02:01,421
Well, maybe she's right.
  I should just withdraw the offer.

29
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:04,189
That way it won't look like 
I've lost to him again.

30
00:02:04,189 --> 00:02:07,524
Lost?  You haven't even begun to fight.

31
00:02:07,524 --> 00:02:13,640
Mr. Sheffield the only thing that Andrew Lloyd 
Webber has that you don't is a middle name.

32
00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:16,899
I've got a middle name.
 / Oh, well, there you are.  What is it?

33
00:02:16,899 --> 00:02:19,629
Beverly. 
/ Moving on.

34
00:02:20,659 --> 00:02:24,529
Okay.  Here's something else 
that you have that he doesn't.

35
00:02:24,529 --> 00:02:29,314
Yeah?  What's that, Miss Fine?
 / Me.  Right, Niles?

36
00:02:29,314 --> 00:02:32,213
What about a Whopper?

37
00:03:23,050 --> 00:03:25,372
Fran, you know, Clifford,
 that geek at my school?

38
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,939
Uh-huh.  Oh, honey, you know,
 he's not such a geek.

39
00:03:27,939 --> 00:03:32,240
Not everyone can pull off mittens
 clipped to their sleeves.

40
00:03:32,518 --> 00:03:35,764
Well, he offered to help me
 with my PSAT's. / Yeah?

41
00:03:35,764 --> 00:03:38,787
But I can't be seen with him.
 / Sweetie, it's the '90's.

42
00:03:38,787 --> 00:03:41,526
Le gdek, chez chic.

43
00:03:41,526 --> 00:03:49,616
See, here's the progression -- pocket protector,
 software genius, compound in Malibu.

44
00:03:50,121 --> 00:03:51,546
Ohhhh ...

45
00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:54,324
Listen to me.  You'll be smart.

46
00:03:54,506 --> 00:03:56,963
Meanwhile, I'm a maid.

47
00:03:58,262 --> 00:04:01,108
All right.  It's all set.  I'm taking 
the playwright to dinner tonight.

48
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,861
And I happen to know he fancies 
himself as a bit of a ladies' man

49
00:04:03,861 --> 00:04:06,834
so I thought maybe I'd set
 him up with Cindy, huh?

50
00:04:06,834 --> 00:04:10,164
Nothing like a super model 
on the rebound.  Hey? / Ohhhh.

51
00:04:10,164 --> 00:04:14,548
Now, you see, Mr. Sheffield, that's
 why you're wearing Donna Karan,

52
00:04:14,548 --> 00:04:20,495
and I'm wearing -- well, actually,
 I'm wear Donna Karan too,
 but they cut the label out.

53
00:04:21,599 --> 00:04:25,913
So what's this guy like? / Dakota Williams?
 Oh, he's an elderly southern gentleman,

54
00:04:25,913 --> 00:04:32,071
you know, a real man's man, ah, drinking,
chain smoking, plain talking.

55
00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:35,225
Oh, gee, and you want to fix
 him up with Cindy Crawford.

56
00:04:35,225 --> 00:04:39,582
I don't know.  
From Richard Gear to Yosemite Sam?

57
00:04:39,856 --> 00:04:43,499
You know what, leave everything to me. 
 I have just the gal for you --

58
00:04:43,499 --> 00:04:47,638
cheap, foul-mouthed, finds 
secondhand smoke a big turn-on.

59
00:04:47,638 --> 00:04:51,164
Oh, Miss Fine, you wouldn't
 want to go with him.

60
00:04:53,237 --> 00:04:55,565
I didn't mean me.

61
00:04:55,565 --> 00:04:58,023
I hate smoke.

62
00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,020
Do you think you can convince this
 friend of yours to go out with him?

63
00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:04,881
Oh, I don't know.  She's got to be
willing to have cocktails in a mansion,

64
00:05:04,881 --> 00:05:07,013
dinner at a five-star restaurant,

65
00:05:07,013 --> 00:05:11,557
and ride around all night in a limo with
 some famous guy who's too old to jump her.

66
00:05:11,557 --> 00:05:14,122
Gonna be tough.

67
00:05:19,424 --> 00:05:23,075
Now, Niles, you must be particularly 
attentive to Mr. Williams this evening.

68
00:05:23,075 --> 00:05:25,949
I want his visit here to be first
 class in every way.

69
00:05:25,949 --> 00:05:28,313
Yeah, Niles, stay on your toes.

70
00:05:28,506 --> 00:05:29,855
Ohhhh!

71
00:05:30,639 --> 00:05:32,790
Oh, my toes.

72
00:05:33,861 --> 00:05:36,941
Ah, there you are, Miss Fine.
  Now guess what.

73
00:05:36,941 --> 00:05:40,411
After dinner I've chartered a boat
 to take us around Manhattan

74
00:05:40,411 --> 00:05:43,959
with a Cajun blues band 
I've flew in from New Orleans.

75
00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:48,717
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, 
now you're showing some gumbos.

76
00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:51,294
Oh, he's here.

77
00:05:51,426 --> 00:05:53,546
Nanny Fine, take a powder.

78
00:05:53,546 --> 00:05:56,438
Now, now, now, Cee Cee, 
if it weren't for Miss Fine,

79
00:05:56,438 --> 00:05:59,423
we wouldn't be entertaining
 a Pulitzer Prize winner here this evening.

80
00:05:59,423 --> 00:06:03,314
Pulitzer Clearing House?  
How much did he win?

81
00:06:03,477 --> 00:06:06,098
Miss Fine, take a powder.

82
00:06:07,044 --> 00:06:08,616
Mr. Dakota Williams.

83
00:06:08,616 --> 00:06:12,789
Ah, I'm just Dak to you all.

84
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,989
Welcome. 
/ I do not stand on ceremony,

85
00:06:15,989 --> 00:06:19,407
and just to prove it,
I'll drink anything you got.

86
00:06:19,407 --> 00:06:22,872
As long as it's sour mash whiskey. 
/ Oh, we got that, all right.

87
00:06:22,872 --> 00:06:26,569
Don't we, Niles?
 / What are you nuts?  Sir ...

88
00:06:26,967 --> 00:06:29,571
I'm Cee Cee Babcock, Mr. Williams.

89
00:06:29,571 --> 00:06:34,828
Your plays are so profound. 
 Where do you get your inspiration?

90
00:06:35,093 --> 00:06:39,554
Give me an uptight alcoholic spinster, 
and I'll give you a play.

91
00:06:40,023 --> 00:06:41,706
Ta-ta.

92
00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:44,029
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

93
00:06:44,502 --> 00:06:47,004
Oh ... Sugar, sugar, sugar,

94
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:50,130
little darling, who are you?

95
00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:52,288
Hi, I'm Fran Fine.

96
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:54,949
You know, I was the lead in one
 of your plays in high school.

97
00:06:54,949 --> 00:06:59,259
Because of my accent, everyone
 thought I was from the south.

98
00:06:59,641 --> 00:07:01,992
Must have been an amazing production.

99
00:07:01,992 --> 00:07:05,009
Oh, when I played 
the death scene with my mamie,

100
00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:08,171
how I loved her, how I loved her ...

101
00:07:08,651 --> 00:07:12,640
Anyway, there wasn't 
a dry eye in Flushing.

102
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,812
Flushing?  Like a toilet?

103
00:07:16,424 --> 00:07:18,675
On a good day.

104
00:07:19,769 --> 00:07:22,976
Oh, Sheffield, this is 
one saucy woman.

105
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:27,044
We're going to get along like two June bugs
 on a summer picnic.  Yeah.

106
00:07:27,044 --> 00:07:30,442
Well, actually, actually, 
she's not your date. / No.

107
00:07:30,442 --> 00:07:31,436
Huh?

108
00:07:31,436 --> 00:07:34,183
Your date's even cruder.

109
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,706
Yes, much.

110
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,785
I'll get that.
 / Me too.

111
00:07:39,785 --> 00:07:42,916
Oh, Miss Fine, I can taste victory 
already.  And it's all you.

112
00:07:42,916 --> 00:07:45,143
I have you to thank. / You ain't seen nothing yet.

113
00:07:45,143 --> 00:07:49,737
Wait till you get a load of the chick 
I fixed him up with.  Ta-ta!

114
00:07:55,602 --> 00:07:57,590
I'm sorry I'm late.

115
00:07:57,590 --> 00:08:02,682
I had to dig up a brassiere
 that hooks in the front.

116
00:08:05,055 --> 00:08:07,367
What?  No good?

117
00:08:12,178 --> 00:08:15,555
Are you out of your bloody mind?

118
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:19,266
Oh, look who's here, Bob's Big Boy.

119
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:24,039
Miss Fine you fixed up America's
 foremost living playwright

120
00:08:24,039 --> 00:08:29,683
with a woman whose greatest attribute is
making rice that doesn't stick together?

121
00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:32,176
He was smiling when he met her.

122
00:08:32,176 --> 00:08:35,830
He's drunk out of his mind.
 / All right.  She's on pain killers.

123
00:08:35,830 --> 00:08:39,261
Maybe neither of them will
 realize they're together.

124
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:43,302
Miss Fine, Miss Fine, haven't I been
 good to you? / Yes, you have.

125
00:08:43,302 --> 00:08:45,945
Gave you a job when you needed one? 
/ Yes, you did.

126
00:08:45,945 --> 00:08:49,348
All the Slim Fast bars you can eat?
 / Uh-huh.

127
00:08:49,348 --> 00:08:54,802
And how do you repay me? 
/ I was just trying to be the woman behind the man.

128
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:58,958
How would you like to be the woman
behind the Burger King counter?

129
00:08:58,958 --> 00:09:02,569
The one on 57th Street is hiring.

130
00:09:02,569 --> 00:09:05,491
You know, for a minute 
there when I saw Yetta,

131
00:09:05,491 --> 00:09:10,766
I thought that she was Dakota's date. 
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

132
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:15,611
Oh, let me tell her in lieu of
 a Christmas bonus.

133
00:09:16,638 --> 00:09:19,004
No!

134
00:09:19,895 --> 00:09:23,445
Oh, it's your fault.  
Maxwell, let's kill her.

135
00:09:23,445 --> 00:09:27,578
Cee Cee, I prefer to do 
this without any witnesses.

136
00:09:27,707 --> 00:09:29,463
Niles .../ Oh, huh.

137
00:09:30,702 --> 00:09:34,232
Mr. Sheffield, let me just
 tell you my thinking.

138
00:09:34,232 --> 00:09:41,845
Andrew Lloyd Webber would have never thought
to fix him up with someone like Grandma Yetta.

139
00:09:43,693 --> 00:09:49,303
Well, Nanny Fine finally dug a hole deep enough 
to bury her and her hair.  Ha, ha.

140
00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:54,141
Oh, Miss Babcock, you have
 a little something, ah ...

141
00:09:54,141 --> 00:09:55,933
Oh, well, give me that.

142
00:09:57,219 --> 00:10:02,761
How's that?  How do I look?

143
00:10:02,761 --> 00:10:05,019
Yummy.

144
00:10:06,446 --> 00:10:09,718
All right.  Would you keep it down. 
 We've got company.

145
00:10:12,915 --> 00:10:15,379
Cee Cee? 
/ What?

146
00:10:15,379 --> 00:10:17,924
What on earth 
happened to your face?

147
00:10:17,924 --> 00:10:21,129
She cut herself shaving.

148
00:10:22,432 --> 00:10:23,562
Oh ...

149
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:34,665
So, anyway, 30 years I'm thinking 
it's a beauty mark.

150
00:10:34,937 --> 00:10:39,851
Suddenly I wake up, it's
the size of Danny DeVito.

151
00:10:39,851 --> 00:10:41,306
Yetta. / Yetta ...

152
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:48,348
That's nothing.  I got something that looks like 
a gas cap off a '64 Corvair growing on my butt.

153
00:10:48,574 --> 00:10:51,695
We believe you. We believe you.

154
00:10:54,234 --> 00:10:56,878
Oh, I got something for you.

155
00:10:56,878 --> 00:11:00,623
But first I gotta take off my girdle.

156
00:11:01,305 --> 00:11:05,813
You little tease. 
You're such a turn-on.

157
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:10,625
Did you hear that? Yetta, big turn-on.

158
00:11:10,782 --> 00:11:12,398
Excuse me, Mr. Williams.

159
00:11:12,398 --> 00:11:17,553
I know we could all go on and on
 about Yetta. Hell, she turns me on.

160
00:11:18,392 --> 00:11:24,242
But why don't we see if we can't work out
a deal before you're sober 
-- supper -- your supper.

161
00:11:24,869 --> 00:11:29,384
Sheffield, is this how you do business? 
 Aha, just show me where to sign.

162
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:32,775
Come on, honeysuckle.

163
00:11:34,288 --> 00:11:37,734
It's all body language.

164
00:11:38,253 --> 00:11:40,893
Watch the walk.

165
00:11:47,024 --> 00:11:50,082
Miss Fine, you never 
cease to amaze me.

166
00:11:50,082 --> 00:11:52,987
Well, I don't know why you're so shocked.

167
00:11:52,987 --> 00:11:56,071
I mean, you asked me to fix
 the man up with someone.

168
00:11:56,071 --> 00:12:01,830
I followed my instincts. 
Simple, yet bonus worthy.

169
00:12:02,270 --> 00:12:06,210
Miss Fine, I could just kiss you.

170
00:12:08,288 --> 00:12:11,672
Coulda, shoulda, woulda, but didn't.

171
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:21,052
Stop it.  You're embarrassing me.

172
00:12:21,052 --> 00:12:24,716
Oh, he keeps calling me
 his right arm.

173
00:12:24,716 --> 00:12:28,495
Miss Fine, you have more 
lives than Garfield.

174
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,611
Oh, Niles, lox, eggs, and onions. 
/ Yes.

175
00:12:31,611 --> 00:12:36,408
Grandma Yetta left her breakfast order 
on the door nob before she went to bed.

176
00:12:36,771 --> 00:12:40,306
Well, when she sleeps over, she always
 thinks she's at the Fountain Blu.

177
00:12:40,306 --> 00:12:45,754
If you want to make a buck, tie your shirt
 into a calypso knot and serve her a pina colada.

178
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:50,655
Oh, Miss Fine ... 
/ Coming.

179
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:54,928
I'm feeling a little short time
to get on my pedestal.

180
00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:58,481
Oh, there she is.
 / Who?

181
00:12:58,481 --> 00:13:00,499
My right arm.

182
00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:04,662
Oh, stop it.  
You're embarrassing me.

183
00:13:04,662 --> 00:13:07,470
Well, I'm sorry, Miss Fine.
  I just can't help it.

184
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:10,988
I own Dakota Williams' next play.
 / Oh ...

185
00:13:10,988 --> 00:13:13,471
I finally beat Andrew Lloyd Webber,

186
00:13:13,471 --> 00:13:15,847
and it wouldn't have happened 
if it weren't for you.

187
00:13:15,847 --> 00:13:20,469
Oh, you did it all yourself.  
I was merely your, um, um ...

188
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,451
Right arm.

189
00:13:23,451 --> 00:13:26,367
Stop it.  You're em -- oh, it's you.

190
00:13:26,897 --> 00:13:29,152
Good morning. 
/ Good morning.

191
00:13:29,152 --> 00:13:30,040
Good morning.

192
00:13:30,313 --> 00:13:32,650
I'll have some of everything.

193
00:13:33,338 --> 00:13:36,841
I'm on the American plan.

194
00:13:37,199 --> 00:13:41,765
So, tell me, did the dinner last night
 go well? You got home so late.

195
00:13:41,765 --> 00:13:44,723
Oh, she was quite the little vixen.

196
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:49,637
Oh, Yetta, you didn't drop anything under 
the table and go look for it, did you?

197
00:13:49,637 --> 00:13:53,991
One time.  Just to see if I still had it.

198
00:13:57,586 --> 00:14:01,538
Good God, that was you?

199
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,897
That was you?

200
00:14:09,985 --> 00:14:13,371
Do you two want to be alone?

201
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:20,741
Meanwhile, Dak and I are
 a match made in heaven.

202
00:14:20,741 --> 00:14:23,758
I like dark meat; he likes light.

203
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:27,723
I could hear the movie;
 he could see it.

204
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:32,088
I got a right lung; he's got a left.

205
00:14:32,582 --> 00:14:35,789
But the best part is he's retired.

206
00:14:35,789 --> 00:14:39,986
No, no, he's not retired yet, Yetta.
 He's still got a play to finish.

207
00:14:39,986 --> 00:14:44,379
Good luck.  The man hasn't 
written a word in 20 years.

208
00:14:44,379 --> 00:14:49,000
Oh, Yetta, you're confused. 
Mr. Sheffield just bought his play.

209
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,387
That's right. The first act
 is on my desk right now.

210
00:14:51,387 --> 00:14:55,670
Did you happen to notice it was
 written with a quill pen?

211
00:14:55,937 --> 00:15:00,557
What is she saying? / I'm saying
 don't hold your breath for the second act.

212
00:15:00,557 --> 00:15:06,601
The man's got writer's blockage.
 / Oh, no.  Oh, God ...

213
00:15:07,881 --> 00:15:13,985
Thank you for introducing us.
 Most guys my age are senile.

214
00:15:14,419 --> 00:15:18,466
I'll be in the gift shop.

215
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:22,135
All right.  Let's -- let's recap.

216
00:15:22,135 --> 00:15:25,663
I now own a play that is 
totally worthless,

217
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:29,585
and Andrew Webber does not.

218
00:15:29,585 --> 00:15:32,655
My right arm is strangely silent.

219
00:15:32,805 --> 00:15:34,992
Did it have a stroke?

220
00:15:34,992 --> 00:15:37,223
It's thinking.

221
00:15:37,223 --> 00:15:39,601
Try and follow me for a minute here.

222
00:15:39,601 --> 00:15:45,168
Why would Dak sign a deal with you when he 
could have signed a deal with Andrew Lloyd Webber?

223
00:15:45,168 --> 00:15:48,972
Because my plays are just as good.
 / No, really.

224
00:15:48,972 --> 00:15:56,008
It's because of Yetta.  You know,
 he might back out of the deal if she dumps him.

225
00:15:56,008 --> 00:16:01,291
Wait, wait, Miss Fine, Dak is the most
 exciting man Yetta's ever met.

226
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:04,469
I mean, what would possibly
 make her leave him?

227
00:16:04,469 --> 00:16:08,966
Well, she had her eye 
on the couch in the lobby.

228
00:16:11,048 --> 00:16:12,520
Yetta ...

229
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:17,709
I hate when they don't 
put prices on things.

230
00:16:18,601 --> 00:16:21,059
Honey, where do you start?

231
00:16:21,059 --> 00:16:25,696
Look, Yetta, I know you've grown 
very fond of Dak, but,

232
00:16:25,696 --> 00:16:29,487
well, you should know he drinks far too much.

233
00:16:29,487 --> 00:16:34,195
He swears like a sailor, and, well,
 frankly, he's a scoundrel with women.

234
00:16:34,195 --> 00:16:39,535
Mr. Sheffield, are you trying 
to talk her out of it or into it?

235
00:16:39,535 --> 00:16:42,941
Let me handle it.  Yetta, 
you gotta break up with him.

236
00:16:42,941 --> 00:16:46,608
Why?  He's cute, and he's loaded.

237
00:16:46,608 --> 00:16:51,770
If we got married, some day
 it would all be yours.

238
00:16:52,817 --> 00:16:56,512
What are we really doing here?

239
00:16:57,052 --> 00:16:59,661
Oh, no, wait a minute, wait a minute.
  I can't do this.

240
00:16:59,661 --> 00:17:05,164
I -- I can't ask her to give up her
last chance for happiness just so I can 
get out of a bloody business deal.

241
00:17:05,164 --> 00:17:12,889
Hold it.  This was business?  
I was just a cheap tawdry sex toy?

242
00:17:13,378 --> 00:17:17,238
Why does this always happen to me?

243
00:17:17,238 --> 00:17:19,668
I'm very sorry, Yetta.

244
00:17:19,668 --> 00:17:25,142
Hey, I was there. 
 How could you not use me?

245
00:17:25,142 --> 00:17:30,637
Business is important. 
 I myself am an entremanure.

246
00:17:32,227 --> 00:17:36,380
My family's going to 
have to stop breeding.

247
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:40,865
Franny, let me talk to
 your husband in private.

248
00:17:43,842 --> 00:17:47,569
You want to talk business, here's the deal.

249
00:17:47,569 --> 00:17:52,854
I'll give up Dak if you quit
fooling around with the blond.

250
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:55,962
Shame on you.

251
00:17:56,541 --> 00:17:59,807
Look what you've got.

252
00:18:07,934 --> 00:18:12,201
Mags, lighten up.  What's with
 the unga-blues-onaputum?

253
00:18:13,005 --> 00:18:15,743
Unga what? / Sour pus.

254
00:18:15,743 --> 00:18:21,037
You know, it's a face like that that kept 
Molly Ringwald from a film career as an adult.

255
00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:26,714
Fran, the worst thing has happened.
  The computer nerd asked me out.

256
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:31,336
Oh, so he's getting 
a little interactive, huh?

257
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:36,408
Fran, I don't want to go out with him.
 Ah, he'll wear that hat with those ear flaps.

258
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:40,029
Honey, let me impart some wisdom on you.

259
00:18:40,029 --> 00:18:45,178
My mother always dressed my father 
in leisure suits,

260
00:18:45,178 --> 00:18:51,205
and no one has ever stolen him away.

261
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,922
Fran, you don't understand.

262
00:18:54,922 --> 00:18:59,100
My best friend Whitney's going out with 
a football player who is so studly.

263
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:03,685
All right, honey, honey.  Let me just
 give you the progression here --

264
00:19:04,245 --> 00:19:09,152
star quarterback, pulled groin, beer gut --

265
00:19:09,152 --> 00:19:13,486
can I check your oil, please.  Huh?

266
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:20,834
Maxwell, I'm coming in, and 
I have terrible news

267
00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:23,728
Isn't that redundant?

268
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:28,201
Cee Cee, nothing can spoil
 this perfect day.

269
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:31,204
Just about now Andrew Lloyd Webber 
is probably realizing

270
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:35,774
that he owns Dakota Williams'
 long-awaited opus named

271
00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:40,719
"You Better Like Act One Cause 
There Ain't No Act Two."

272
00:19:40,719 --> 00:19:47,940
I read, "Dakota Williams' closes a deal
 with Andrew Lloyd Webber to produce
 his new play -- / Uh-huh.

273
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:51,774
"-- which he finished in one night."

274
00:19:53,402 --> 00:19:56,577
Oh, Miss Fine ...

275
00:19:57,148 --> 00:20:02,808
Are you doing the hokey-pokey 
and you need your right-arm man?

276
00:20:03,459 --> 00:20:07,920
I'd take it out before he shakes
 it all about.

277
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:08,944
Huh?

278
00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:11,294
Webber stole our playwright.

279
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:16,833
Well, tell us something 
we don't know. Ha, ha, ha.

280
00:20:17,652 --> 00:20:19,875
All right.

281
00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:29,987
"The playwright was inspired to complete
 the deeply personal project by a recent 
bout of unrequited love.

282
00:20:32,756 --> 00:20:36,413
In contrast to his usual heroine,
 the pivotal character

283
00:20:36,413 --> 00:20:44,175
is an earthy, elderby,
 Hebraic woman named Zetta."

284
00:20:45,907 --> 00:20:49,474
Ever since I started working here, 
I don't need a treadmill.

285
00:20:49,474 --> 00:20:52,935
I have to get Miss Grace.  
Mr. Clinton's here.

286
00:20:52,935 --> 00:20:57,536
Clinton?  The President?  
He knows Barbra Streisand.

287
00:20:57,699 --> 00:21:01,018
It's so exciting.  Who are you?

288
00:21:01,018 --> 00:21:03,492
I'm Roger Clinton.

289
00:21:08,328 --> 00:21:10,684
Do you know Streisand?

290
00:21:10,684 --> 00:21:16,473
Well, I was at the inauguration, 
but I had terrible seats. / Oh ...

291
00:21:16,473 --> 00:21:19,192
Miss Fine, you haven't been dismissed.

292
00:21:19,192 --> 00:21:21,098
I haven't finished with you yet.

293
00:21:21,098 --> 00:21:23,439
Not now, Mr. Sheffield.  
We have company.

294
00:21:23,439 --> 00:21:27,115
Roger Clinton is here. / Oh ...

295
00:21:27,115 --> 00:21:30,041
Ah, why?

296
00:21:30,459 --> 00:21:33,848
Well, your daughter wrote 
my brother a letter.

297
00:21:33,848 --> 00:21:37,824
And he was so touched by it, he asked
 me to stop by while I was in town.

298
00:21:37,824 --> 00:21:41,247
Where's the President?
 / Honey, honey, he couldn't make it.

299
00:21:41,247 --> 00:21:46,165
But his brother came instead.
/ Oh.

300
00:21:46,776 --> 00:21:51,189
Isn't this exciting? 
Honey, go get your camera.

301
00:21:51,189 --> 00:21:54,293
Why would I want a picture --
 / Go.

302
00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:59,706
Ah, you know, Mr. Clinton,
 Miss Fine here is a great admirer

303
00:21:59,706 --> 00:22:02,371
and supporter of your entire family.
 / Yes, I am.

304
00:22:02,371 --> 00:22:04,115
Thank you.  That's nice to hear.

305
00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:07,529
As a matter of fact, you should
 send for her in '96. / Oh ...

306
00:22:07,529 --> 00:22:11,829
Yes.  She is an inspiration
 to have in your corner.

307
00:22:11,829 --> 00:22:17,471
Well, I'll tell Bill.  You know,
 he's always looking for a good right arm.

308
00:22:20,188 --> 00:22:22,771
Mr. Sheffield, that was so nice of you.

309
00:22:22,771 --> 00:22:27,740
You know, I thought you were 
a republican. / I am.

310
00:22:38,698 --> 00:22:40,762
Thank you for my gift.

311
00:22:40,762 --> 00:22:43,685
Well, Yetta, 
I just hope you enjoy it.

312
00:22:45,382 --> 00:22:49,413
You know, for the club chair,
 I would have put out.

313
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:56,250
Well, that's what happens when you
 get involved with an entremanure.